Thursday, May 08, 2003

With all the speculation about Isabella v. at a fever pitch, it's past time to winnow the field a bit. So as a public service, I now present the top ten rejected Flight Risk theories:
  • It's what Neal Stephenson was doing when he should have been finishing Quicksilver.
  • The former Iraqi Information Minister doesn't have a whole lot else to do.
  • Chinese government campaign to divert the world's attention from the SARS epidemic.
  • Publicity gimmick for Hushmail.
  • Republican operatives trying to discredit the elites of "Old Europe".
  • Written by a slightly scatterbrained kid named Phoebe to pass the time while grounded, after getting strip searched at LAX because customs couldn't figure out how she got seventeen Mexican entry stamps on her passport in a 24-hour period, without one corresponding return stamp.
  • Promotional stunt for Caribbean island hoppers.
  • The Nielsen Haydens have been oddly quiet the past few weeks.
  • Movie script concept in early production by "John Fucking Malkovich".
  • Hey, has anyone seen Thomas Pynchon lately?

No further consideration need be given any of these theories.

On the other hand, having given it some thought, none of these strikes me as all that much more unreasonable than the Sean-Paul Kelly theory...


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