Monday was opening day for the Red Sox. They were pitching Pedro Martinez. Their opponent was the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, widely derided as one of the worst teams in the league. They shocked and awed the Rays by scoring three runs in the top of the first, before Pedro had even thrown a pitch. And then the management's innovative new "closer by committee" theory (cutting strongly against conventional wisdom) proved a bust as the Rays scored five runs on two homers in the bottom of the ninth, to win 6 runs to 4.

You know what the Pentagon needs? More Red Sox fans.